I know everyone has a different experience when it comes to grief and loss of a loved one.
My hope is to offer encouragement, not to compare and contrast pain. My personal experience is with loss of a parent, my father to be specific. Though I do have a special place in my heart for those who have lost a parent prematurely, my belief is that every death happens before we ever want it, or expect it to, no matter how much notice there is. There is a process to grieving and healing that is difficult and visceral. And, I also believe that if one is open to processing in a fuller way, it can be a process that is beautifully hard. One that honors the ambivalent desires to numb and feel. One that pays rightful, respectful and consistent homage to the life lost, and the love that shadows your present and future days. After loss, there is life left to be lived, and life left to be remembered.